So here’s what’s going on with me.  I’m still working on my Nano manuscript and getting past the very expressionistic broad strokes that I started with, starting to understand a little better what it’s all actually about, and getting pretty close to being able to visualize the end of this book.

Another thing I’m doing is picking through all the random characters who popped into this draft, to find the ones who seem important and will survive the first cull. Part of this is beginning to see them a bit better. Most of them are just sketches now, with few details and an unformed personality. Only my main characters have any physical appearance. So in putting a bit more detail onto these other supporting characters one of the decisions I have to make, I guess, is what their ethnic background is. I don’t want to make a huge thing of this.  In the fractured world I’ve created I think it might be kind of a joke to even consider someone’s race to be important. But these characters need faces. Somewhere along the line I need to put colors on them.

(Disclaimer – I’m going to use the term ‘black” to refer to darker skinned people of recent African descent. I choose not to use the more acceptable term ‘African American’ because many of the characters to which I refer are not American)

One character feels like he might be Asian, maybe Chinese. Another perhaps First Nations. And here’s where I run into problems. Because the character who might be Asian is also feeling a bit “Ensign Kill-Me” right now (my manuscript is about a war). If I make him Asian and then kill him am I falling into one of the ‘When white writers write characters of color” tropes. I check the blogs, the comments, the forums. I’m now obsessing that this one decision will get me raked over the coals by writers and reviewers I respect. “Typical,” they will mutter “She killed the Asian”.

The other character, a girl, who I might make First Nations or perhaps some other non-white culture, I’m not even sure will be in this book. But I think she’ll figure prominently in the sequel (I think it’s a trilogy). She’s also going to be a lesbian, I think. At least she’s going to have a fling with my main character, a “straight” girl. Then I come crashing down again, choked with doubt. Is this a racial stereotype I’m not aware of? I also want her to be a source of wisdom for my very confused main character, but now I’m scared of the “Mystic Savage” trope, so I get all tied in knots about that. Maybe I’ll just make her a South Asian, like from India or Pakistan, but what kind of stereotypes do I need to avoid there?

Then there are antagonists. What if I was to make one of them black or Asian? Imagine a black Voldemort or a Chinese President Snow. In fact in the actual Hunger Games arena, the only two sympathetic characters who form any kind of alliance with Katniss, apart from Peeta, are Rue and Thresh, both black. What about the ruthless “careers”? Imagine if Cato was black. Or Glimmer was Asian. It seems that no Asians are reaped as tributes in the Hunger Games at all. Quite lucky don’t you think? God, imagine a couple of Middle Eastern kids in the arena. How would that have gone down?

And ultimately, I can’t avoid the biggest stereotype of all – my main character is white, her love interest is white, his rival is white. So all the characters of color are supporting characters. Again the imaginary pundits mock me: “Why aren’t there any multicultural protagonists in YA/Sci Fi/Romance/etc?” “Why is it always the Asian sidekick? The Black best friend? The Native mentor? Or whatever?” Is making any of these supporting characters any race but white “tokenism”?

Argh!  Now I start to feel like I’m trapped. I feel like I’m faced with the choice of making my protagonist and her two love interests African, Inuit and Maori, almost certainly doing a terrible job with each of these cultures and being castigated soundly on the boards. Or I could bleach my entire cast, and hang the consequences of that. At least I won’t look a fool, just a racist or a bore. Or both.

Listen, I get that this is a “first world problem”. But I’m a writer for young readers. What am I supposed to do? YA and MG writers are repeatedly told “GIVE US MULTICULTURAL CHARACTERS”. The first time I tried it was one of the most disheartening experiences of my writing life, leading me to give up on writing at all for nearly a year. More recently, because of the publisher’s requirements, and because it made sense given the premise, my upcoming book Wicket Season features a black protagonist, his black family, a south Asian love interest and many minor characters of color.  One of the supporting characters is white – he and his father fulfill an important role in the resolution of the plot. Will I be accused of having the white savior riding in to save the day? I sure as sh*t hope not. But it’s too late to change things now. AAAAAAh, help me. I live in fear of being accused of racial stereotyping. But I’m just trying to write a story here!

White writers are told to research non-white cultures carefully before writing about them. Are writers of color given the same warning regarding writing white characters? And also, what kind of research am I supposed to do? If I wanted to do some research on First Nations for example, do I go down to the Eastside and hang outside the methadone clinic? Or do I go to the First Nations Centre at UBC? Or both? And which research can I include in my book? If I want to write about African Americans do I skulk around the White House or the ‘Big House’? Or somewhere in the middle?

I’ve included characters from dozens of cultures in my writing, but right now I feel so choked that I’m just about done. I’m not sure I can let my Ensign Kill-Me be Asian. Or my bi-curious BFF be anything than a foxy redhead.  Surely the perfectly drawn, non-stereotyped, super-functional, starring role multicultural character written by a white writer is also a trope.  Isn’t a character like that just as much of a cut-out as the old stereotypes?

Or maybe I’M the stereotype: the white writer angsting about writing multicultural characters. Maybe I’ll just shut up and do as I’m told.

Read more about “Writing Race”  here where Chasing Ray does a round up of authors’ takes on the issue. Justine Larbalestier also has much to say. Also here with Neesha Meminger and here with Holly S. Warah. And here at Alicia McCalla’s blog.